Blame
by Theonewhodidnotdoit
Summary: The following is an extract from the personal audio logs of Spartan Gabriel Thorne...


**Blame**

**Infinity Crew Personal Audio Log Designate #1597: **

**Crew Member: Spartan Gabriel Thorne, Log Entry 001, Datestamp 11/06/2558.**

**Log begins:**

_Alright, so, Grant talked me into doing one of these. She said it'd help with... Just... Things, I guess. I'm pretty sure there isn't a Spartan alive who isn't completely crazy in some way, but..._

**(Only ambient audio recorded for approximately 14 seconds) **

_It's just... I'm not over it. New Phoenix. I can't get it out of my head. Last night, I had another nightmare, but this one was different. More vivid. I'm standing in Greenshaw Plaza, just walking around, dressed in my civilian clothes. My parents are there, my friends, everyone. The sun's out, it feels like summer, the air's clear, and it's just... Perfect. _

**(Only ambient audio recorded for approximately 8 seconds)**

_ And then... All of a sudden, there's this massive Forerunner ship in the sky, blocking out the sun. It looked like the Didact's, kind of, only... Darker, I guess. And... It starts charging up that beam. The Composer. And everybody's running, and I'm helping them out, getting them away, pulling people out of hiding... And... I find this little girl, hiding in a bush. She looked terrified, clutching this little rabbit toy. And... I try coaxing her out, and I stick out a hand. She makes like she's going to take it, but... Suddenly I'm wearing my armour. And it just... Locks up. Like in training, when we're about to make a big fall, or our Pelican's about to crash. I just can't move. Then... Oh, God... God..._

**(Only ambient audio recorded for approximately 26 seconds)**

_The beam fires. It sounds just like a big Focus Turret, you know, the things Watchers make? And... The little girl, she... Disintegrates. Like a Knight does. She stiffens, and her skin starts... Peeling off, glowing orange, turning into dust. And all I can hear is screaming, hers, others, everyone. And I feel like I'm burning, burning away into nothing like she was. Like they all were. I shut my eyes, and it all just... Stops. There's no sound, and everything's black. I open my eyes, and... This is the weird bit. The different bit._

_I open my eyes, and I'm a Promethean. I can feel how heavy I am, how far off the ground I am. I've got four arms, two little black ones, and two big ones with weapons floating around on the ends. My body feels cold, but powerful, like it did after my augmentations. I feel dead. And out of nowhere, there's suddenly this... Anger. I feel so unbelievably angry, blood boiling, vision red, ready to kill the first thing I see. I wonder if that's how they feel. After whatever happens to them happens. Maybe after the...process, they just... Don't remember. Or they can't think at all. Who knows?_

_Anyway, then, out of nowhere... There's the Master Chief. And... I attack him, swinging at him with the blade on my arm, shooting with a Scattershot. He kills me, of course. Pulls off my arm and stabs me with it. I start to feel the burning again, and I wake up._

**(Only ambient audio recorded for approximately 5 seconds)**

_The first part is nothing new. I have that nightmare all the time. But the second part's new. Does this mean I blame someone? But who is it? The Didact, the Chief, myself, or someone else? Well... The Chief did set the Didact free. And he didn't make it in time to save New Phoenix. But I can't really blame him. He did everything he could. He even tried to suicide-bomb the ship. That's commitment. Myself...? Well, I did leave the city behind. But... Even if I was there, it wouldn't have made any difference. I wouldn't have been a Spartan, I wouldn't have understood what was going on, and I would have died like everybody else. The Didact... I don't even know what he was doing. Every file I've tried to look up on him is encrypted. ONI-level classification. And there aren't many of them either. Seems the only way to find out more about him is to just... Carry on with the Infinity. We're going after Forerunner stuff, after all, right? I mean... The Chief's debriefing said he wasn't confirmed dead. We could still find him. Maybe when we do, I'll know whether I blame him or not. Ha. This actually helped. Guess I owe Grant a drink now. Okay, how do I shut this of-_

**Log ends. **


End file.
